journaler's notes 4.06.2006 16:31

he's been there and back again. shopping. he has cigarettes, steibeck's 'travels with charlie', his meds, lunch for he and his mother, and a cd with pictures. they eat together and then go through the cd. a cousin comes by quickly to get a key for his dad's property. he asks his mother why the cousin could have a key and he couldn't; she responds that he should know it was to be his and gives him a key.

i can tell the meds are controlling him now. his pulse is anywhere between 58 to 120 beats per minute. when he faces a hard decision, he sweats and becomes confused. he postures as if he is headed into a strong wind.

the only real change visible is the control being asserted by the meds ... no outward 'acting out.' is this the goal of the meds ? if that was the case, it only brought out a period of readjustment documented here and his trembling. his caregivers will have to decide if that was a fair trade off. his real world deadlines april 24th for his mother's bills, may 15th for medicare enrollment, among others, are challenges he is unable to meet alone.

as an experiment i'm letting him write his experiences directly into a journal to be posted here.