journaler's notes 4.05.2006 17:47

he wasn't present for the meeting with his therapist so i went instead, accompanying his mother. i passed on his note to the psychriatrist about his reaction to the medication and contribution to this blog. i also read his notes on his expectations when living at home. he also had bought jellybeans.

nothing was resolved on thhe issues he would have brought up. once a decision point was reached there wasn't a commitment. walls were seen rather than challenges. opportunities for sharing went unused.

the visit did provide an insight for me. the patient ruminated about on slipstreaming, reshaping everything he saw. he saw it in how busineeses closed or moved based on traffic flow. how houses got fenced in and windows boarded up. how buildings replaced reception desks with empty lobbies and telephones. how businesses cater to what moves quicker not what always moves.

he obsessed over physical form where the head (thought) was smaller than the chest (heart) and smaller than the stomach (gut), implying an imbalanced priority decision system. it would resemble the aerodynamic form of a snowman or weeble.

if he felt so much pressure to slipstream, maybe he just side-stepped it ...

i'll be posting from his bio and notes.